New Year new approach?

Midnight at the oasis?

As the clock ticked down to midnight, the champagne began popping, someone somewhere shouted Hootananny little did we we know that the Commander in Cheese, Dumpty the President was watching his own clock tick down.

Perhaps we should have been given a clue by the Doomsday clock in the trailers for the next Avengers' instalment was that a hint that the Orange Ego was about to nudge us closer to nuclear midnight than the world had been since the Cuban Missile Crisis? Or was that just coincidence? Yeah it was coincidence.

So the outlook for the world may be a little bleaker, we cannot control what happens in any meaningful way, ranting on social media may vent the spleen but it does little to change the world, so what can we control?

In mediation I often talk about controlling how we react to stimuli, outside pressure, news and views and the actions of other, these things we can control. Take a breath, pause, consider and reflect if what you heard was not what was intended by the words, rephrase your response, reframe your understanding and take positive steps to see things from another perspective.

At Christmas you may not have been able to change that relative's view of a wealthy grifter politician being "man of the people" but you can find common ground in why they feel that is someone who represents their interests.

I have to remember to do that when talking to clients as well, a lot of my work is in areas where certain political parties are currently pulling strong in the polls (albeit against the voters' interests IMHO) so it comes as no surprise that there are certain views expressed in session, ones that I am obliged to challenge without upsetting the balance of the process.

How do you do that? You ask "why?" it's a simple question but it is key to understanding. asking what, where, when, who or how can come only after you understand why a view is held and then reflecting with that client or clients why that view may find traction or friction with the other people in their discussion.

Helping clients understand their own "why" is at least as important as helping them understand the other team's why.

And if you want to understand Trump's "why" look at what dropped out the news when he kidnapped/rendered a foreign leader.